Name: Michelin Guide

Age: The famous restaurant guide was created in 1900.

Funny, because there’s also a tyre company called Michelin. One and the same. The Michelin brothers, Édouard and André, had the idea to publish the restaurant guide – just in France, at first – to encourage people into cars.

Cunning! And there’s me thinking it was because if you kept stuffing yourself full of paté de foie gras you’d end up looking like the Michelin Man. Now there are guides for over 30 countries, including Britain, China and Malta.

And it’s a massive honour, to be awarded a star, n’est-ce pas? Up to three are available, for the very finest restaurant. Though the (always anonymous) Michelin inspectors are not welcome everywhere.

Where aren’t they welcome? Le Restaurant Marc Veyrat, in the ski resort of Megève, for example.

What has Monsieur Veyrat got against Michelin? It all started five years ago, when the celebrated chef took the guide to court after they were sniffy about his cheese souffle and downgraded his restaurant from three stars to two.

What was wrong with the souffle? They said he put English cheddar in it. He denied it and demanded they remove the listing. He lost the case.

What’s wrong with cheddar? Maybe because it’s cheese for rosbifs? Anyway, he’s opened this new place in Megève, where dinner costs €450 (£380) a head.

Seems a lot. Well, you might get to chat to Marc as he prepares you a lobster tartlet with a fragrant meadowsweet emulsion and wild flowers.

And the Michelin Man’s not invited? Non! Veyrat’s even put a sign on the door saying so. “I’m turning 75 this year,” he told CNN. “I don’t want to be taking exams and getting ranked.”

But if the inspectors are anonymous, how will he know them? Exactly. That’s what happened to the restaurant Eo in Seoul. Michelin included it in its 2019 Guide even though the owner and chef, Eo Yun-gwon, asked them not to.

A bunfight. With pain au levain sourdough rolls. The gastronomy bible has often been surrounded by controversy. A couple of years earlier, French chef Sébastien Bras asked for his restaurant Le Suquet, which had had three stars for 18 years, to be removed from the guide, saying: “Life is too beautiful and too short.”

Did Michelin comply? Briefly. A year later it was back, with two stars.

I was thinking about the massive prices, and even massiver personalities, and wondering which side to take. Veyrat says what motivated him to open a new restaurant was “the joy of hosting people”.

Do say: “Is that all? Add another 20%, for the ego.”

Don’t say: “Open up your cheese box, Monsieur Veyrat, we suspect … red leicester!”