Jude Bellingham has said he felt the “whole world crumbling down on me” after being mistreated and made a scapegoat for England’s defeat in the European Championship final.

The Real Madrid midfielder, back in England for Wednesday’s Champions League tie at Liverpool, posted on social media that he had “got my smile back in an England shirt” after the recent Nations League win over the Republic of Ireland. In a searingly honest explanation of why the joy of playing for England had gone, the 21-year-old cited personal criticism in the aftermath of the Euros final defeat by Spain and media intrusion that he believes crossed a line.

Bellingham, who scored England’s winner against Serbia and rescued Gareth Southgate’s side in the last 16 against Slovakia, said: “I lost my smile a lot after the Euros when it came to playing for England because I felt like I was a little bit mistreated in comparison to what I contributed. I felt like some of it was a bit harsh on me. I felt I was a bit like the scapegoat. Maybe I was feeling a little bit sorry for myself.

“I think that camp [under the interim manager, Lee Carsley] with a lot of new faces really brought out the joy in my game again and I think you can see that in the last two games. I haven’t lost my smile in the Madrid shirt. I am annoyed when we lose and I get frustrated but it is never a case of not being happy. I’m the luckiest lad in the world. I get to play week in week out for the biggest club in the world and represent my country. I think it [the post] was more to do with how I was treated on the back of the Euros. The smile is back.”

Bellingham restricted his media appearances during the Euros to contractual man-of-the-match interviews and a few pre-match press conferences. That was not a sign of arrogance, he insisted, but a response to a level of media intrusion that had left his grandmother reluctant to leave her home.

“For me pressure is not a problem,” he added. “I understand that playing for Real Madrid the expectations are going to be high for me wherever I go with the national team. I felt like I contributed some pretty big moments and, in the end, it felt like the whole world was crumbling down on me after the Euros, especially after the three days following the final. It wasn’t a nice feeling.

“There were a few things that happened during the tournament. I think one of the big criticisms of me was that I didn’t speak to the media, I didn’t want to do press conferences. That was reported in a way that made out I was above it – that’s not it at all. I had some personal things going on, journalists who went to see members of my family whilst I was at the tournament, who went to visit my grandparents. I don’t think that’s fair. I think that crosses the line of respect.

“That’s where I took it a little bit personally and decided I was going to focus on the football and let that do the talking instead of talking in the press to people who seemingly don’t respect me. That was a thing for me. Family comes first. My nan didn’t want to leave her house for the whole summer, bless her. Maybe I should have communicated that before so people understood my situation but that was more personal and that’s why I decided to keep my mouth shut.”

Bellingham will make his first appearance at Anfield on Wednesday when Real will look to improve an indifferent Champions League group campaign. The midfielder could have been playing for Liverpool but for the Anfield club deciding they could not afford the overall package to sign him in 2023.

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“It probably wasn’t as close as a lot of the media made out,” he said. “I had conversations with a few clubs when leaving Borussia Dortmund and making that decision. They gave me permission to speak to a few clubs. All the clubs I spoke to were very respectful of me and my family which was something I really respected. But when Real Madrid come knocking on the door it shakes the whole house. It’s hard not to accept. It’s not a matter the other teams weren’t good or were bad when I spoke to them, it’s just that Real Madrid are on a different level.”

Bellingham is close friends with the Liverpool defender Trent Alexander-Arnold, who is out of contract at his boyhood club at the end of the season and has been strongly linked with a move to Madrid. The Real star declined to be drawn on the possibility of Alexander-Arnold joining him at the Bernabéu.

“He’s a Liverpool player and it would be disrespectful to come to his home today with a big game tomorrow and talk about something that could be misconstrued,” Bellingham said. “It’s important to take that pressure off him. I want him to do really well normally. Just not tomorrow.”