GOING UP!
As any Irish football fan of a certain vintage can attest, Liechtenstein can be a famously difficult place to go. In June 1995, Jack Charlton took a Republic of Ireland side that was ranked ninth in the world to this tiny country for a Euro 96 qualifier against a team of part-timers that included several bankers, a draughtsman, a wine grower, a mechanic, a builder and the obligatory postman. In Mario Frick, Liechtenstein boasted their only professional player as they lined up in the ramshackle 4,500-capacity Sportpark-Eschen Mauren to face a team that included the likes of John Aldridge, Niall Quinn, Jason McAteer, Paul McGrath and Denis Irwin. The ground was full, with the crowd largely comprising Ireland fans who expected a rout but ended up applauding the home side on their lap of honour after they had held their opponents to a scoreless draw. To their acute embarrassment, Ireland had somehow failed to score from any of their 40 shots on goal and drawn with a ski resort.
While football-related celebrations are few and far between in Liechtenstein, almost 30 years on it was the visiting team’s turn to do a lap of honour in the nation’s new and improved digs, the Rheinpark Stadion in Vaduz. Belying their official ranking as the worst international football team in the world, San Marino did what Ireland couldn’t all those years ago, scoring three goals in a match for the very first time and securing promotion to the third tier of the Nations League.
Previously and almost certainly still best known for going one up against England inside nine seconds of a World Cup qualifier in 1993, San Marino travelled to Vaduz on the back of 199 defeats in the 211 fixtures they have contested and having never won away from home. While the odds of victory might have seemed stacked against them, at least they travelled safe in the knowledge that the only two victories in their history had come against Monday night’s opposition.
Make that three. Without a win since 2020, Liechtenstein took a first-half lead but had no answer for goals after the break from Lorenzo Lazzari, Nicola Nanni and Alessandro Golinucci, hence why their manager, Roberto Cevoli, was so delighted. “Finishing that first half 1-0 down was an insult to football, but the boys were brilliant and deserved what they’ve managed to achieve,” he parped. His boss, Marco Tura, chief blazer in the San Marino football federation, was similarly enthused. “These boys made history,” he roared. “As people, as athletes, as men, they have shown what they are worth. I cried with the boys.” While it might have been the greatest in Sammarinese football history, Monday also provided vindication for the often maligned Nations League. Introduced to cut out the need for pointless friendlies, its four-tiered system at least provides an accurate measure of progress for the kind of teams who never win anything, as England, Northern Ireland and San Marino have already proved this week.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Since Elon Musk took over the platform, hate speech, hatred towards minorities, right-wing extremist posts and conspiracy theories have been allowed to spread at an incredible pace, all under the guise of freedom of speech. The radicalisation of the platform is being actively driven by Elon Musk and his personal posts, which include transphobic and antisemitic comments, as well as the spreading of conspiracy narratives” – Werder Bremen become the second Bundesliga club to quit X, following St Pauli’s decision last week.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
The mention of 90s BBC lunchtime staple Turnabout (yesterday’s Football Daily) inevitably resulted in me trawling YouTube to find old episodes of a quiz show I used to love, given its run coincided with me being in sixth form or at university. Imagine my surprise when I read the comment ‘Guardian Football Weekly has brought me here’ – from two years ago. Were you recycling old content? I suppose it’s consistent with a wider green agenda” – Adam Clark.
Something has gone very wrong in the world this month when Donald Trump has been reelected, Gary Lineker is unemployed, Mike Tyson looks mellow and now Scotland are winning both home and away, despite not even being on the telly any more. Is this some kind of rip in the tartan fabric of the space-time continuum?” – Justin Kavanagh.
Re: Memory Lane (yesterday’s Football Daily, full email edition). Either that fella with the bass is emulating Hendrix on the guitar and playing a right-handed bass left-handed, or whatever they were serving at the Hilton was a hell of a lot stronger than what they’d serve pro footballers these days” – Dave T Lloyd.
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