NO WAY, JOSÉ

For a man who famously “cannot speak”, José Mourinho invariably has plenty to say. During his pre-match press conference the day before Fenerbahce’s Bigger Vase game against Manchester United, he cut a relaxed figure who seemed to be enjoying his reunion with his former muckers from the English press pack. And why wouldn’t he? Especially when so many of them can be replied upon to greet his staggeringly unfunny gags with the kind of sycophantic, excessively loud and undeserved laughter you only ever hear at such events.

A handful of them went on to chronicle the encounter in the kind of glowing terms that could only have been more fawning if they’d been written or broadcast by Bambi. And while Mourinho may no longer be among the world’s elite managers, he remains second to very few when it comes to charming curiously obsequious broadcasters, hacks and football fans, the kind who continue to describe him in glowing terms as “a character,” but seem to have forgotten that he can be an extremely unpleasant one.

Before last night’s 1-1 draw in Istanbul, Mourinho made sure to talk up the visiting side as if it were Lord Ferg’s Treble winners who were coming to town, rather than the worst United team ever seen by anyone who has been watching football for the past 30 years. It was a tactic straight from the tried and trusted Mourinho playbook and meant whatever the outcome of the match, he would be able to spin it as some sort of victory for his team. And so it came to pass when, upon being asked if in a post-match interview if he was happy his team had got a point against a club that sacked him for being only marginally less rubbish than the bloke currently in charge, he insisted “they got a point against us, not us against them”.

Having taken an age to leave the touchline after being sent to the stands by the referee, Clément Turpin, for protesting an entirely correct decision not to award Fenerbahce a penalty for what he perceived to be a foul by Manuel Ugarte on Bright Osayi-Samuel, Mourinho offered his thoughts on the French referee’s decision to show him a red card. “He told me something incredible,” he said. “He told me at the same time he could see the action in the box and my behaviour on the touchline. I congratulate him because it is absolutely incredible, his peripheral vision. During the game, 100 miles per hour, he had one eye on the penalty situation and one eye on the bench and my behaviour. That’s the explanation he gave me, and that’s why he is one of the best referees in the world.”

Having sarcastically trashed the French match official – just the latest referee to have incurred Mourinho’s entirely unjustified hectoring – the Portuguese was asked if he’d had a chance to review the correct decision he’d railed against. Tellingly, he stopped short of accusing Turpin of highway robbery, presumably because he knew he didn’t have a leg to stand and deliver on. “I watched the incident, I do not speak about the incident,” he said, having already made his feelings on it and other matters tediously clear.

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QUOTE OF THE DAY

“I’m delighted to be back working in football after a period out of the game. I wanted to get back into it if the right opportunity arose which, with this opportunity, I feel is the perfect fit for me. I was delighted to engage with a club like Swindon Town, a club I know a lot about due to my location and knowledge of the local area” – Ian Holloway is back in the managerial game and hoping his grasp of the M4 corridor can rescue the ailing Robins, who are 22nd in the League Two table.

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CIAO, ROBERTO

August 2023: “I believe this is a great opportunity for me, to experience football in a new country. I made history in Europe, now is time to make history with Saudi” – Roberto Mancini is appointed as Saudi Arabia’s new manager until 2027, trousering a reported €25m-a-year deal.

October 2024: “The board of directors of the Saudi Football Federation and the coach of the national team, Roberto Mancini, reached a joint agreement today which ends the contractual relationship” – Mancini heads through the Door Marked Do One after seven victories in his 18 matches in charge.

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FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS

“Re: The Battle of the Buffet [Thursday’s Football Daily]. Cesc Fàbregas says he threw a pizza because he ‘wanted to bring something to the table’. I see what he did there” – Jussi Keinonen.

“Maybe, just maybe Football Daily could stop trolling Arsenal fans and try to do some journalism for a change. Today’s email was 100% trolling … [snip – Football Daily Ed] … and let’s bash Arsène Wenger in the week of his 75th birthday for the crime of not liking to see his players kicked off the pitch” – Arsène Weng William Ireland.

“Recently when I open my super, throwaway tea-time email, the page goes blank but reappears a couple of minutes later. Can you get your tech bods to remedy this? The reappearing, I mean” – Peter Storch.

Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s letter o’ the day winner is … Jussi Keinonen, who lands a Football Weekly scarf. Terms and conditions for our competitions can be viewed here.

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