Black British people feel a sense of hurt every time the veteran MP Diane Abbott is attacked, a former senior adviser to Downing Street has said.

Samuel Kasumu, who advised Boris Johnson on civil society and communities, was reacting after it emerged that the Conservatives’ biggest donor had told colleagues that looking at Abbott makes you “want to hate all black women” and said the MP “should be shot”.

Abbott herself has said she feels “less safe” after learning about the remarks by Frank Hester. The Guardian published details of the remarks from a meeting held at his company, TPP, in 2019. In the meeting Hester said he did not hate all black women. But he said that seeing Abbott, who is Britain’s longest-serving black MP, on TV makes “you just want to hate all black women because she’s there”.

In a statement on Monday night, a spokesperson for Hester said he “accepts that he was rude about Diane Abbott in a private meeting several years ago but his criticism had nothing to do with her gender nor colour of skin”.

They added: “The Guardian is right when it quotes Frank saying he abhors racism, not least because he experienced it as the child of Irish immigrants in the 1970s. He rang Diane Abbott twice today to try to apologise directly for the hurt he has caused her, and is deeply sorry for his remarks.

“He wishes to make it clear that he regards racism as a poison which has no place in public life.”

TPP’s lawyers, Carter-Ruck, said the comments were not a true or accurate characterisation of the company or Hester.

Speaking on BBC Radio 4’s Today programme, Kasumu said: “As a black Brit Diane Abbott is someone who is very historically significant.”

He added that he and a host of other senior black British Tories including Kemi Badenoch and James Cleverly would not have got to their positions in politics were it not for Abbott.

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“So it’s very important to note that that every time Diane is attacked we do feel it. We feel a sense of hurt because of her historical significance. She ran so that people like me could walk.”

Responding on X to a question from a friend who asked on Monday evening if she was OK, Abbott herself responded: “I was quite upset. Also I feel less safe. Anyway I have come home for an early night. Thank you for getting in touch.”

The energy and net zero minister Graham Stuart told Times Radio: “He [Hester] has accepted, as he should, that that was rude, inappropriate and wrong. But that was half a decade ago. He has apologised. You make the point about apology. He has come out and fulsomely apologised, quite rightly. And reached out to Diane Abbott.”

Asked if the comments were racist, he replied: “I find it absolutely unacceptable. I hesitate to stick that particular label on it.”

Stuart told the Today programme that it was “clearly uncomfortable to have had this” and that Abbott had “suffered horribly” in social media.

“What we need is a politics that shows more kindness and understanding of each other and not a vile polarisation in which people are denigrated attacked,” he said.

The Liberal Democrats’ chief whip, Wendy Chamberlain, said: “Graham Stuart’s refusal to call out these racist comments was simply jaw-dropping.

“The Conservative party has flat out refused to return these donations despite these comments being inexcusable. How low can you go?

“Rishi Sunak can bunker down and hide in Downing Street as long as he wants but every day he doesn’t return this money is another damning blow to the Conservative party’s credibility.”